An Open Letter to My Son’s Kindergarten Teacher

A Child's Perspective

  • After tutoring a pair of first grade boys we played a quick game of connect four...
  • Boy 1: Where you get this game?
  • Me: The Dollar Store. I love that place!
  • Boy 2: This was a dollar?!
  • Me: Yep. Its great and they have all kinds of things!
  • Boy 1: Thats great cause you can buy toys and stuff and you aint gotta spend too much money.
  • Me: Thats the idea!
  • Boy 2: The Dollar Store is great but its gotta suck workin there!
  • Me: Why is that?
  • Boy 2: Cause you gotta do all that work and you only get paid a dollar! How they make enough money to live and junk?!
  • Me: That would be a hard way to make a living!


  • Girl: Are you ever going to have a husband?
  • Me: Someday
  • Girl: Well since you are 25 and don't have a boyfriend I don't see how you are ever going to have a husband.
  • My oh my

Quality Time

Grabbing a late lunch with mom while my car is getting checked up for Emma and my impromptu disney trip tomorrow


  • Me: Look at how ridiculous I look. I have this terrible bruise on my leg and my sunburn looks like I'm wearing a dickey.
  • Mom: We'll have to start calling you Dickey Bruiser.
  • Me: Dickey Bruiser, Private Eye.

Happy Cinco de Crazy

  • Went to Taco Bus to get my Cinco de Mayo taco on. Waiting off to the side for my food when this guy who works there (older Mexican man with gold teeth) comes over...
  • Man: Ay mami, how you doin??
  • Me: ...uh good and yourself
  • Man: Always good here!
  • few more minutes pass and he comes back with my to go order.
  • Man: You wait so long. You know, if you were my wife, you wouldn't have to wait at all.
  • Me: Good to know
  • Man: Next time you come we do it?
  • Me: Next time I come I'll marry you?
  • Man: Then you be my sexy lady and you won't have to wait.
  • Me: Sounds like a plan
  • Man: I hold you to it mami!
  • Get to the car and half of my order is missing - go back around and he is basically waiting for me
  • Man: Whats wrong angel?
  • Me: Uhhhh I am missing my...
  • Man: You wait right here, I will handle this!
  • Me: ...great.
  • Man: Okay now here is the thing. Now you gotta take my number.
  • Me: Or else I won't get my food?
  • Man: That's just how it is. You take my number?
  • Me: ...fine whats your number?
  • Man: I see you soon lovely!
  • Never going back to Taco Bus again hahaha


I just made my very first poached egg. It was perfect, delicious, and paired beautifully with a big ol’ pool of hollandaise!

My Name is Madeleine
and I'm a Clean Teen.

I am whinny, self indulgent, and
I laugh at just about everything.
I would love to drop everything
I'm doing and travel the world.
I love learning about history and random facts that I can later
blurt out at social gatherings.
The stories I tell are usually pointless and unless you are some sort of scientist, chances are you will never know what I am talking about.
I may be a complete mess, but love me or hate me, I am that I am.